Poem

Grackles harass the cat as he lays at my feet, pacified on dried food.
He says he'll chase one later when it's not so hot out.
He's a perfect killer.
A bundled mass of death and fury.
But he's a lazy bastard sometimes
And it is pretty hot.

jack

i had a dog named jack.

he was a great dog, my favorite so far.

an irreplaceable little mutt

who would wait for me at the end

of the driveway for my return from school.

he didn't know he would be shot

one day by the neighbor.

he never questioned fate

never thought of that day

never contemplated mortality

never sat up late smoking,

wondering why he kept going.

he was a dog, the best dog.

happy to be a dog.

how goddam lucky he was.

Random poem

Hydraulic sign siding for the enemy
Call down the wrath of Odin on us now.
Footage spring.
Spake of nothing swell.
Dad is loose in the mind.

I'm in the pit of the hell I created and there are no judgement day preachers big enough to pull this rusty truck of me out.

Loans recalled in loves and life I lingered too long over.
Interest in speaking howls instead of jargon make the Swiss army heart wary for new planets and constellation erections.

This bro is the end.

Honeymoon in hell

My marriage is collapsing under the weight of my own inability to get my shit right. The pressure to leave art for the family is overwhelming. I am on the verge of huge breakthroughs but I keep getting snatched back from them by talks, lectures, ultimatums, failure parades, and the mundane. This thing I decided to pursue is selfish. It eats time and attention and I have been living in my own head more than in the house. Something is going to break.

I am in limbo. Awaiting the next fight or the next stupid thing I do to push me over into spiraling depression and anxiety is terrible. There is no clear path ahead and the woods go on forever.

Art is no fun anymore. It's a choice that comes with emotional shotgun blasts.

Die Facebook die

I killed m Facebook page. It was easier than you think. I evaluated the time and the content and the 'relationships' on there and found dissatisfaction.

No one reads this blog. It's almost a daydream meandering that I can plant somewhere in the world and be assured that feedback will be minimal. There're no stupid ass cat pictures, no cute stories about overcoming life's obstacles with meaningless TV cliches.
It's just me. Maybe just me is how it should be. I don't want to depend on ethereal people anymore for my intellectual fix. I'll post to nothing, in search of no one's approval.

You can however follow me on twitter.
Not really.

Random thoughts 31 the birth of the devil

In the beginning we crouched
Naked,lost, in the mud and blood and spit of our creation
We hated
We hated
We hated ourselves and the devils we held beneath our scowls

God came back
From his long Caribbean vacation
He found us
Crouching, scowling in the mud an the blood
He said, "get the fuck up you goddamn animals! Have some self respect."
And we'd crouched so long our backs had become crooked, our arms long, our knuckles abraded. We stood up out of the filth by painful inches.
God pointed at one of those pitiful creatures with his perfectly tanned, manicured fingertips and said,"What the hell is going on here? I leave for a moment to catch some sun and have a few laughs and you lose your shit?"
And the timid voice of the pitiful creature said,"we just ain't no good. We got this evil in us, this darkness, and we can't shake it."
God stared at humanity for a few minutes.

He rubbed his perfectly manicured beard,
he tugged at the sleeves of his
jimmy buffet pineapple shirt
and finally said,"Well shit,
that just isn't gonna cut it."

So god grabbed up the human race in his big hands and shook and pried and ripped and finally tore the devils out.
And the devils ran all over, biting and spitting and jumping and humping. And god said,""There ya go."

He turned to leave.

One timid human spoke up as a devil was eating her baby,"Now what?"

"Don't look at me, they're your devils do what you want with 'em."

And we did.

Random thoughts 30

We postulate heaven prostrate on glass chunk carpet
There are caverns in us unexplored by humanity
filled to brim with crystallized eye candy mantra hiccup space trash
Geraldo never found al capones treasure either

We rest after fucking on park ruined benches splintering our hands and asses and can't lift them to save the world

I won't be here when you wake up
I'll be gone for the coast in a toaster oven muscle car tour bus
Spreading the word about baby face Nelson and his machine gun falsetto